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Carrikins

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Carrikins
  • Town/Country : Perth, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5372
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Carrikins's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

#21013681
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47922) - you deserved it (9622)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

#21013669
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41555) - you deserved it (5823)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Vincent - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

#21012735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41365) - you deserved it (7725)

On 01/01/2014 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Snufflopagus (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42804) - you deserved it (9469)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I decided to light a lantern and watch it fly with my girlfriend after midnight. The neighbor's tree caught fire. FML

#21012276
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34806) - you deserved it (11096)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:17am - misc - by claubea11 - Puerto Rico

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38117) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40520) - you deserved it (5641)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42423) - you deserved it (21678)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

#20966092
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30810) - you deserved it (44824)

On 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

#20963690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41099) - you deserved it (2870)

On 11/19/2013 at 7:19pm - love - by unwantedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

#20930198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35434) - you deserved it (9974)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25768) - you deserved it (37133)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

#20922788
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40844) - you deserved it (13018)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9710) - you deserved it (30087)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

#20443608
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9850) - you deserved it (37258)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States



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