Carrikins

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Carrikins

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16539
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Carrikins's page activity

Visits<b>snope</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:27pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:33pm<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:24am<b>kudoosh</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:37pm<b>FlabbberGasted</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 6:52pm<b>Vanlendauman</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:54pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 3:14pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:57pm<b>kubackster</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:48pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 8:56pm<b>Gregshelton8611</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:50pm<b>mpkpm</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:07pm<b>Qele</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:34pm<b>icebreaker012</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 11:10am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 8:50am<b>Bentonic</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:31am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:27am<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 7:24am

Carrikins's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Carrikins's badges

Carrikins's favorite FMLs

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML

by lamemom / 04/05/2014 at 6:05pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Kids

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

by armtits and big pits / 04/05/2014 at 3:14am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 12:04am / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

by King_of_hearts / 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

by ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz / 04/04/2014 at 7:20pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Love

Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML

by kaheera4 / 04/04/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my favorite band logo is no longer being used by said band because of copyright issues. I have this logo tattooed on my body. FML

by Cult / 03/30/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2014 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2014 at 5:34am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

by CurtisWogan / 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

by tayymeds / 03/12/2014 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.