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Offline (the 06/11/2015 at 11:02pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 22 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 704
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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CaptnNorway's page activity

Visits<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 8:57pm<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 9:38pm<b>keyser_soze1</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 4:54am<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 6:46pm<b>FALLENSEBZERO</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 1:13pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 11:40am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 07/03/2012 at 7:25am

CaptnNorway's FML badges


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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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CaptnNorway's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

by NotSpiderman / 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

by Bratty son / 10/23/2012 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML

by Annette / 09/22/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML

by photomark / 12/13/2011 at 1:32am / United States / Health

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to switch my glass of coke with a glass of pure vinegar. FML

by Skidaddle123 / 08/23/2011 at 12:15pm / United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

by Lozza111 / 08/28/2010 at 1:14am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

by Idiots / 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

by Kaboom / 04/21/2009 at 8:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML

by RaYan / 10/13/2008 at 4:22am / Miscellaneous