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Captain_Brittain

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Captain_Brittain
  • Town/Country : America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 57
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Captain_Brittain : I'm not even from Britain that's just where my cousin is ( he is a captain in the army) I'm in 9th grade and don't know what else to write here

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Captain_Brittain's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51217) - you deserved it (3940)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47280) - you deserved it (4297)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

#20013987
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25596) - you deserved it (1301)

On 08/10/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by SHIIIIITTTT (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

#19635383
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (1525)

On 05/17/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by secret_source (woman) - United States

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

#14894865
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26638) - you deserved it (3116)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35251) - you deserved it (9880)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17381) - you deserved it (43660)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36217) - you deserved it (8882)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)



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