CaptainPickles72

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CaptainPickles72

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 September 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 9691
  • Number of comments : 317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaptainPickles72 : You like me, and I, like you, like me!

10/10 people say I'm funny, and they also say 99% of statistics are made up. These people seem to know a lot! You know what that means!? I'm fucking funny!!

Your words say no, but your kicks to the groin say yes!

I like to joke around a lot, though I wouldn't say I'm an entirely funny person. I do have my moments though! If you wanna message me and joke around or just wanna ask a question or two, feel free to! I'm a nice person and love getting to know people.

I would write some more, but I'm too busy giving back to the community via the drugs I sell them.

CaptainPickles72's page activity

Visits<b>meruem77z</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 9:49am<b>classicate</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 8:02am<b>Joshawott14</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:37pm<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 2:04pm<b>A_Chacon</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:08am<b>WJM505</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:24pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:31pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:33pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 6:09am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 1:53am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:37am<b>ellie_215</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 6:49pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 2:43am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 3:14pm<b>ASubtleHuman</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 9:56am<b>Cindale_87</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 4:33pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 1:06am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 5:05pm

Fucked!<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:33pm<b>ASubtleHuman</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 2:57pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:06am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:05pm<b>evan4guitar</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:37pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 10:56pm

CaptainPickles72's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of CaptainPickles72's badges

CaptainPickles72's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

by why... / 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

by Aldoch / 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm / Kids

Today, I found out that the person who has been stalking me has also been stalking someone else. I got upset. It seems it took being stalked to make me feel good about myself. FML

by stalked / 05/28/2012 at 2:24am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2012 at 10:19am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

by ilovemymomma / 05/26/2012 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

by Snickers / 05/12/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 8:07am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

by joolsie / 04/13/2012 at 9:11am / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

by CantPublish / 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

by laststand11 / 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

by analeis / 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Health

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love