CaptainFoxbutt

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Offline (the 08/27/2014 at 4:32am)

CaptainFoxbutt

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2575
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CaptainFoxbutt : First of all, the username is a joke between me and my irl friend.

Anyway, hello person who is currently reading this. You many have decided to look at my profile because of the peculiar username, because you're a stalker, because you are bored, because you are genuinely interested in who I am, or because of some other reason that I have failed to bring up.

I am a pretty chill person in general, I swim and play Pokemon, CoD (overrated as procreation, by the way), Zelda (one of the three greatest series ever), Mario, to name a few.

Music is awesome, except for that music genre that's been popular for the past 6 years. That genre is shit.

I play piano and clarinet, and I'm learning guitar and an assortment of percussion instruments.

If you indeed message me, I will indeed consider replying. Being social for the win.

Oh, and I'm 15. That information might be important to some people.

CaptainFoxbutt's page activity

Visits<b>philipino</b> - 8 hours ago<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 2:29am<b>pineapples</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:28pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:55pm<b>Vintag3Xoxo</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 8:49am<b>LittleBells</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:00pm<b>elliecandlin</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 6:16am<b>kingcam19</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:02am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:17pm<b>carliflowerr</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:40pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:40pm<b>its_bree</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:43pm<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 7:04pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 8:45am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:28pm<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:32am<b>threer</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 6:25pm<b>mzrayray</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 1:46pm

CaptainFoxbutt's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of CaptainFoxbutt's badges

CaptainFoxbutt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

by Uncircumcised Penis / 07/24/2012 at 5:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

by anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 10:54am / China (Jiangsu) / Health

Today, I learned that when the power goes out at my house, my family thinks you can no longer flush the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

by Kayt / 10/03/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

by KillMeNow / 06/06/2011 at 2:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

by sosadstudent / 04/20/2011 at 4:52pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

by negin / 03/22/2011 at 3:23am / Animals

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

by lonelyguy321 / 07/27/2010 at 10:43am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

by thewallrules / 12/05/2009 at 9:10am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

by Missy / 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health