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CaptainFoxbutt

Offline (the 08/27/2014 at 4:32am) | Search for a member

CaptainFoxbutt

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2248
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CaptainFoxbutt : First of all, the username is a joke between me and my irl friend.

Anyway, hello person who is currently reading this. You many have decided to look at my profile because of the peculiar username, because you're a stalker, because you are bored, because you are genuinely interested in who I am, or because of some other reason that I have failed to bring up.

I am a pretty chill person in general, I swim and play Pokemon, CoD (overrated as procreation, by the way), Zelda (one of the three greatest series ever), Mario, to name a few.

Music is awesome, except for that music genre that's been popular for the past 6 years. That genre is shit.

I play piano and clarinet, and I'm learning guitar and an assortment of percussion instruments.

If you indeed message me, I will indeed consider replying. Being social for the win.

Oh, and I'm 15. That information might be important to some people.

CaptainFoxbutt's page activity

Visits<b>pineapples</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:28pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:55pm<b>Vintag3Xoxo</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 8:49am<b>LittleBells</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:00pm<b>philipino</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:34pm<b>elliecandlin</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 6:16am<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:54am<b>kingcam19</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:02am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:17pm<b>carliflowerr</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:40pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:40pm<b>its_bree</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:43pm<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 7:04pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 8:45am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:28pm<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:32am<b>threer</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 6:25pm<b>mzrayray</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 1:46pm

CaptainFoxbutt's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of CaptainFoxbutt's badges

CaptainFoxbutt's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

#20708889
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58910) - you deserved it (3232)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:08am - work - by hesgonnahateme - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88141) - you deserved it (8401)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80737) - you deserved it (3916)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

#20703997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46932) - you deserved it (3386)

On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

#20700580
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43010) - you deserved it (4322)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by fucker43 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

#20694826
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49642) - you deserved it (4194)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

#20692668
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66292) - you deserved it (3600)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36774) - you deserved it (3431)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65016) - you deserved it (5975)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML

#20638400
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46522) - you deserved it (3189)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:35am - work - by clutzasaurus (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

#20637622
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56702) - you deserved it (3755)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55356) - you deserved it (2940)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26994) - you deserved it (2149)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24594) - you deserved it (6920)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)



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