CaptainFoxbutt

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Offline (the 08/27/2014 at 4:32am)

CaptainFoxbutt

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2654
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CaptainFoxbutt : First of all, the username is a joke between me and my irl friend.

Anyway, hello person who is currently reading this. You many have decided to look at my profile because of the peculiar username, because you're a stalker, because you are bored, because you are genuinely interested in who I am, or because of some other reason that I have failed to bring up.

I am a pretty chill person in general, I swim and play Pokemon, CoD (overrated as procreation, by the way), Zelda (one of the three greatest series ever), Mario, to name a few.

Music is awesome, except for that music genre that's been popular for the past 6 years. That genre is shit.

I play piano and clarinet, and I'm learning guitar and an assortment of percussion instruments.

If you indeed message me, I will indeed consider replying. Being social for the win.

Oh, and I'm 15. That information might be important to some people.

CaptainFoxbutt's page activity

Visits<b>philipino</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 1:04pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 2:29am<b>pineapples</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:28pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:55pm<b>Vintag3Xoxo</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 8:49am<b>LittleBells</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:00pm<b>elliecandlin</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 6:16am<b>kingcam19</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:02am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:17pm<b>carliflowerr</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:40pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:40pm<b>its_bree</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:43pm<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 7:04pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 8:45am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:28pm<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:32am<b>threer</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 6:25pm<b>mzrayray</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 1:46pm

CaptainFoxbutt's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of CaptainFoxbutt's badges

CaptainFoxbutt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

by ktiskool / 08/01/2013 at 12:03am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

by ihatepokemon / 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm / United States / Love

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

by dirtythief / 07/18/2013 at 12:01pm / Philippines (Batangas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

by ilivehere / 07/17/2013 at 10:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Vermont) / Kids

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

by not cool / 06/28/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

by :( / 06/06/2013 at 7:37pm / United States / Work

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

by luciazee / 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm / Peru (Lima) / Miscellaneous