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Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10349
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

Capt_Oblivious's page activity

Visits<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:19am<b>zerolight</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 11:12am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:27am<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:25am<b>StreetlightM</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:18pm<b>liammarkowitz</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:52pm<b>Fennex3</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 6:25pm<b>raven83</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 10:47am<b>oops6663</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Ev3d11</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 11:30am<b>Jodencrans</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Chronomay</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:39pm<b>JpTheGreat23</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:26am<b>boomHEADSHOTllll</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:39pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:11am<b>ktm71125</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:00am

Capt_Oblivious's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Capt_Oblivious's badges

Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

#19626087
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25652) - you deserved it (2367)

On 05/15/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by uni life (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

#19563224
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6780) - you deserved it (88072)

On 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by f*ck (man) - United States

Today, I watched "Rain Man" with my family. The whole time they kept exclaiming, "Omigod! That's just like Kate!" FML

#19547230
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16736) - you deserved it (2404)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:22am - misc - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36366) - you deserved it (8922)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

#19545026
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27616) - you deserved it (2994)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44337) - you deserved it (4063)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23239) - you deserved it (9522)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

#19195188
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (2094)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

#19173596
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23037) - you deserved it (3283)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

#19164002
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28380) - you deserved it (5134)

On 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm - misc - by baconandkittens (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML

#19063731
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31689) - you deserved it (2680)

On 02/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13907) - you deserved it (50849)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21196) - you deserved it (40964)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43280) - you deserved it (9153)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, our dog peed on nearly all the wrapped gifts under our Christmas tree. FML



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