Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12414
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

Capt_Oblivious's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:24am<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 9:59pm<b>moldehbread</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 9:46am<b>Shadow9876</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:01pm<b>sastiel</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 12:48am<b>rivimatt</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:54pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:08am<b>bryce0110</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 12:29am<b>eggfactory</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:15am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 8:02pm<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:25pm<b>punmessiah</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:03pm<b>NikkiVxD</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 1:12pm<b>dianer7</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:28pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 12:36pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 9:34pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:43pm<b>SunshineX7</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:21pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:43pm

Capt_Oblivious's FML badges

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

by uni life / 05/15/2012 at 4:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

by f*ck / 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm / United States / Love

Today, I watched "Rain Man" with my family. The whole time they kept exclaiming, "Omigod! That's just like Kate!" FML

by Kate / 04/29/2012 at 11:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

by anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

by cmoney6452 / 03/01/2012 at 11:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2012 at 7:29am / United States / Health

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

by baconandkittens / 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML

by anonymous / 02/13/2012 at 6:32am / United States / Health

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

by Needsanewjob / 01/10/2012 at 10:34am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

by KrissyBearr / 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, our dog peed on nearly all the wrapped gifts under our Christmas tree. FML

by shrdlu / 12/22/2011 at 5:05pm / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.