Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14394
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

Capt_Oblivious's page activity

Visits<b>KoiTheKewlKid</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 1:37pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 1:46pm<b>LiquidGoldRose</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 7:29am<b>slappygecko</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:37pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:24am<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 9:59pm<b>moldehbread</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 9:46am<b>Shadow9876</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:01pm<b>sastiel</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 12:48am<b>rivimatt</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:54pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:08am<b>bryce0110</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 12:29am<b>eggfactory</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:15am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 8:02pm<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:25pm<b>punmessiah</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:03pm<b>NikkiVxD</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 1:12pm<b>dianer7</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:28pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:43pm

Capt_Oblivious's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Capt_Oblivious's badges

Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

by roommateprobssss:( / 12/11/2012 at 10:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

by ihncredible / 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

by satega / 12/10/2012 at 2:07pm / United States (Missouri) / Holidays

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 6:53am / Canada / Love

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

by julia / 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

by wow @ creepy fuckers / 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm / United States / Work

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Work

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

by racking-leaves / 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

by Enragedbitch / 10/20/2012 at 4:49am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

by SHIIIIITTTT / 08/10/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML

by 1D-107 / 07/31/2012 at 1:43pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I received my best compliment of the year so far when an ER doctor commented positively on the clarity of my urine sample. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Health

Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 8:00am / United States / Love