CaptMurdock

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CaptMurdock

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 July 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5114
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About CaptMurdock : Hi there.

CaptMurdock's page activity

Visits<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 11:29pm<b>yaadiraaa_</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 4:28am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 1:10pm<b>HealthKitt</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:04am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:11pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:18pm<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 1:59pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Perfectly_Killer</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:09pm<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 12:59pm<b>nixienicotine</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:44am<b>thomasrasmussen7</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:09pm<b>dmert5</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:55am<b>Morticia_Addams</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:38am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:13pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:56pm<b>kingteefteef</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:56pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:33am

Fucked!<b>yaadiraaa_</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 10:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:18pm

CaptMurdock's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of CaptMurdock's badges

CaptMurdock's favorite FMLs

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

by bestiality? do I look like a pig? / 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

by Mr_poole / 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML

by mothers / 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm / United States / Love

Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML

by those_allergies / 05/12/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

by Chia / 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML

by Marmarfarfar / 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

by AussieG75 / 05/07/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 8:48am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

by serialkillingex / 05/07/2013 at 3:45am / Netherlands / Love

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

by me / 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML

by immovingout / 05/04/2013 at 1:46pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous