Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 723
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Candycake : if you wanna know anything about me then kik me @ JessiBooLuvsU2013 Im pretty much the most awesome person I know :D

Candycake's page activity

Visits<b>rob02</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:55am<b>cheshirecat13242</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:11am<b>Notyours007</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 12:38am<b>bjf21</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:26pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 8:44am<b>obeykiddsmalls</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:40am<b>Rallred32</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:58am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:15pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 3:44pm<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 9:55am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:16pm<b>octopussperm125</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 9:51pm<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 2:56pm<b>pinklover1121</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 10:10pm<b>Stypahorlikson</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 11:27am<b>kylie31</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 1:20am<b>crazyee</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:03am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 2:25pm

Candycake's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Candycake's badges

Candycake's favorite FMLs

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12261) - you deserved it (42378)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (3033)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29796) - you deserved it (3405)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29799) - you deserved it (4980)

On 08/02/2011 at 1:47pm - work - by ImScrewed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a long overdue vacation to France with my husband and young daughter. As revenge for an earlier prank, my sister has apparently taught my daughter to swear profusely in French. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (8972)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (6050)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:00am - intimacy - by djoe - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (12691)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12581) - you deserved it (116644)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML


I agree, your life sucks (77720) - you deserved it (5972)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (66270) - you deserved it (663873)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51292) - you deserved it (14651)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:05am - money - by gonkc (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47541) - you deserved it (8831)

On 11/17/2008 at 6:27am - love - by Darkheaven - Sent from mobile version

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: