Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CamS115

Offline (the 03/29/2015 at 10:37pm) | Search for a member

CamS115

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 199
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

CamS115's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

CamS115's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (2835)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29869) - you deserved it (4104)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33011) - you deserved it (3904)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (3762)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43530) - you deserved it (2993)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, it's my birthday. I've spent most of it apologizing to my parents for the "hassle" of "having" to arrange a simple birthday dinner. Sorry I was born, guys. FML

#21269752
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33520) - you deserved it (2674)

On 10/02/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by Sorry (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was replaced in the symphony I play in. I play the clarinet, and a standard symphony only uses two, so getting into one can be quite competitive. My conductor's reasoning? "I was sure you were going to college." I never mentioned college to him, other than saying I wasn't going. FML

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41691) - you deserved it (21442)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49754) - you deserved it (6391)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nit-wit candidates. FML

#21203575
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46009) - you deserved it (3525)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:02am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53772) - you deserved it (4687)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

#21180841
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42290) - you deserved it (9472)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50300) - you deserved it (8425)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40841) - you deserved it (4437)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: