Callilah

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Offline (the 11/04/2015 at 5:43am)

Callilah

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2270
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Callilah : ••Mixed••

Callilah's page activity

Visits<b>abhig</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 2:01pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:28am<b>jdw17</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 4:56pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 1:06am<b>whatcase</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 3:34am<b>Arni792</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 1:35am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 7:29am<b>The_Curvy_Girl</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 6:05pm<b>kettlecooked</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 7:14pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:52am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:35am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 11:04pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 11:02am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 4:57am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 3:37am<b>TinyTinkerer</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:50pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:37am<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:34am

Fucked!<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:35am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 4:04am<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:06am<b>esemexicano</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:42am

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Callilah's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm / Venezuela (Lara) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

by and she doesn't even give bjs / 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm / Argentina (Distrito Federal) / Love

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

by whatsername92 / 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm / United States / Love

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

by journey_Jeanne / 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML

by K3you / 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

by sushi hater / 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

by Michelle / 12/27/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

by Cherie / 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

by meantowheels / 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2009 at 10:45pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous