Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 11/04/2015 at 5:43am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 January 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2003
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Callilah : ••Mixed••

Callilah's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:52am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:35am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 11:04pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 11:02am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 4:57am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 3:37am<b>TinyTinkerer</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:50pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:37am<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:34am<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:05am<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 12:03pm<b>Samuelito26</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:15pm<b>MAFilm</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:01pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:58am<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:23pm<b>The_Curvy_Girl</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:01pm<b>luebbe</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:09pm<b>Jason89</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 3:00am

Fucked!<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:35am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 4:04am<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:06am<b>esemexicano</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:42am

Callilah's FML badges


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Callilah's badges

Callilah's favorite FMLs

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58671) - you deserved it (17697)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML


I agree, your life sucks (72589) - you deserved it (4448)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47823) - you deserved it (3173)

On 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm - work - by heyyoitsapotato - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML


I agree, your life sucks (77771) - you deserved it (6548)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34933) - you deserved it (120360)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38149) - you deserved it (8412)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54788) - you deserved it (6002)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML


I agree, your life sucks (69384) - you deserved it (17536)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37366) - you deserved it (3628)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33875) - you deserved it (6243)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46883) - you deserved it (3488)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51708) - you deserved it (23041)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML


I agree, your life sucks (42198) - you deserved it (5957)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36037) - you deserved it (54280) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49540) - you deserved it (6249)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: