Callilah

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Offline (the 11/04/2015 at 5:43am)

Callilah

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2265
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Callilah : ••Mixed••

Callilah's page activity

Visits<b>abhig</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 2:01pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:28am<b>jdw17</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 4:56pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 1:06am<b>whatcase</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 3:34am<b>Arni792</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 1:35am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 7:29am<b>The_Curvy_Girl</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 6:05pm<b>kettlecooked</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 7:14pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:52am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:35am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 11:04pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 11:02am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 4:57am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 3:37am<b>TinyTinkerer</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:50pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:37am<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:34am

Fucked!<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:35am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 4:04am<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:06am<b>esemexicano</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:42am

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Callilah's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

by Purple / 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm / Egypt / Kids

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 3:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

by scarredforlife / 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy