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Offline (the 03/15/2014 at 10:43pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2587
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Calaraphea : Nobody likes me, neither will you. c:

Calaraphea's page activity

Visits<b>masmalaque</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 3:34am<b>jelrid</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 11:51pm<b>Fed21</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 1:08pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 5:42pm<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 6:05pm<b>Guylly</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 8:25pm<b>anjie_mackney</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 11:18pm<b>LadyLiani</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:13am<b>pear_flavored</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 12:16am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:24pm<b>r1has</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:10pm<b>kageboy</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:21pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 11:56pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 10:01pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 2:31am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 10:58pm<b>MistayJay</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:22pm

Fucked!<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 12:05am<b>pear_flavored</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:16am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:31am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:20pm<b>reillyg11</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:19am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:07pm<b>mistress_paz</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:03am

Calaraphea's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Calaraphea's badges

Calaraphea's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2013 at 5:49pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

by mile high clubber / 07/14/2013 at 6:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

by Calaraphea / 05/16/2013 at 11:01am / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

by lamsolonely / 05/12/2013 at 12:35am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

by failure as a parent / 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

by FenRackety / 05/10/2013 at 8:37am / Canada / Animals

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

by MrConcise / 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML

by DJ / 04/07/2013 at 2:52pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

by notapervert / 02/28/2013 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Love

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

by DumbCuntApparently / 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

by I think its dead / 01/15/2013 at 2:33am / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

by pussyface96 / 09/19/2012 at 5:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

by raesos91 / 09/18/2012 at 7:56am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous