Caitlyn36

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Caitlyn36

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5046
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Caitlyn36's page activity

Visits<b>Iris_River</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 6:30pm<b>Repethetic</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 9:53am<b>Mental_1456</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:14am<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:11pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 10:37am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 10:14pm<b>mrz1177</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:32pm<b>danilols689</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 10:16pm<b>delwoodfrashure</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 5:16pm<b>konstantinos616</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 4:33pm<b>miralars</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 12:04am<b>juice524</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 12:26am<b>Sammitheshit</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 9:51pm<b>dotar</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 9:30pm<b>smilie97</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 11:00pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 6:56pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 12:47pm<b>jaime1480</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 10:48am

Caitlyn36's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Caitlyn36's badges

Caitlyn36's favorite FMLs

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

by Zach Got Robbed / 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

by -_- / 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2013 at 10:05am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 2:57am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 1:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 2:44am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 2:09am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm / Hungary (Szeged) / Love

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 12:12am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

by thefriedman / 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm / United States (California) / Intimacy