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Cagara's FML badges
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Cagara's favorite FMLs
Today my daughter asked me to do her a huge favor : undergo a liposuction transplantation where my fat would be sucked out then put into her butt and thighs. Apparently, I am the fattest DNA match to her, lessening the risk of her rejecting the transplant. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2016 at 12:37pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by Hairy Cheek / 04/15/2016 at 12:27am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by maalmawr / 04/02/2016 at 1:20am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by titkip / 04/01/2016 at 8:30pm / Kenya (Nairobi Area) / Intimacy
by BroadcitySF / 02/27/2016 at 10:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by M / 09/20/2015 at 7:59pm / United Kingdom (North Somerset) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML
by C BOMB / 09/14/2015 at 7:58pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2015 at 8:14am / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2015 at 3:33pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML
by mukduk / 03/16/2015 at 8:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by bootyislife / 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Aether / 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2014 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…