About CaffieneKing : I love music, food, sports, video games, and the various activities. Feel free to communicate with me I guess and thanks for some good laughs in the comments section.
CaffieneKing's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
CaffieneKing's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML
by KasSmoke / 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm / New Zealand / Intimacy
Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML
by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals
Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML
by TooLesbian / 09/24/2014 at 10:33pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML
by oops / 08/22/2014 at 10:35am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health
by haileelouxxx / 08/22/2014 at 8:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by ReluctantAntEater / 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health
by fatty magoo / 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
- Today, I realized the only reason I have a job is because I'm seeing my bosses daughter but she's a… Today, I am taking a quick trip to Louisiana which will take 9 hours. As I got my husky out to use… Today, I started my first day working the drive thru at Taco Bell. My very first customer, a lady,…