CaffieneKing

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Offline (the 05/04/2015 at 6:04am)

CaffieneKing

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 October 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3508
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaffieneKing : I love music, food, sports, video games, and the various activities. Feel free to communicate with me I guess and thanks for some good laughs in the comments section.

CaffieneKing's page activity

Visits<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:25am<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:16pm<b>superminty</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 8:17pm<b>kmcruz417</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 6:46am<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 6:36pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 12:38pm<b>KMJ_Reverse</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:47pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 8:49pm<b>nelson_92</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 10:21pm<b>pistachiopanda</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 1:23pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 4:32am<b>its_bree</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 3:51am<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 1:04am<b>capsizedatsea</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 5:37am

CaffieneKing's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of CaffieneKing's badges

CaffieneKing's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

by KasSmoke / 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm / New Zealand / Intimacy

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML

by TooLesbian / 09/24/2014 at 10:33pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

by oops / 08/22/2014 at 10:35am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

by haileelouxxx / 08/22/2014 at 8:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

by ReluctantAntEater / 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

by fatty magoo / 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation