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C001Gir1's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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C001Gir1's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
by JoseIsAdork / 01/11/2016 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML
by Bex98 / 01/11/2016 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/06/2015 at 10:36am / United States (Florida) / Money
by ModernCindy / 11/30/2015 at 11:07am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/25/2015 at 12:30pm / Switzerland (Fribourg) / Kids
Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by mini matthylde / 11/19/2015 at 4:57am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/19/2015 at 12:49am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working at the bar, I accidentally spilled a beer on my chest. Several drunk men whistled and seemed to enjoy what they saw so much that they bought even more drinks and started coming onto me. My boss asked if I could do it again on my next shift. FML
by anon. / 11/17/2015 at 1:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/18/2015 at 10:23am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
Today, I was working out in the gym when a fitness trainer came up to me and said it wasn't safe to be exercising while this far along in a pregnancy. I was too ashamed to tell them that I'm not pregnant, so I went along with it. Time to find a new gym. FML
by dramaqueen15 / 10/15/2015 at 10:38pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/07/2015 at 10:31pm / United States (Utah) / Health
by jshsnan / 10/04/2015 at 7:12pm / United States (California) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…