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BurntPorkChops

Offline (the 08/02/2015 at 4:25am) | Search for a member

BurntPorkChops

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1830
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BurntPorkChops's page activity

Visits<b>nevergetsfirst</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:49pm<b>jennieeugster</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 7:13am<b>ViRepz</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 7:11am<b>AntiPrude</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 9:56am

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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BurntPorkChops's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (2867)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

#21430170
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24771) - you deserved it (2289)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by vkryss13 - Guam

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML

#21430015
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (2369)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:26am - misc - by 1234 - United States (Florida)

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

#21429802
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (1746)

On 06/21/2015 at 10:16pm - animals - by Angel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was invited to a fancy-shmancy charity event, and the host - my friend - told me to wear a long, ballroom, fancy gown. Turns out my friend was just being a dick and it was a pool party. I spent $200 on my hair and makeup alone. FML

#21429755
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25885) - you deserved it (4378)

On 06/21/2015 at 8:50pm - misc - by ssondik - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (2068)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

#21428990
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23834) - you deserved it (2391)

On 06/20/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by organizse - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML

#21428964
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26936) - you deserved it (2583)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:45am - love - by ugh - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my boyfriends house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML

#21428963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (4834)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:42am - animals - by rabbitkiller - China (Nei Mongol)

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (3164)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29714) - you deserved it (3698)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my grandparents are going to take my car away and sell it because they're pissed I'm moving in with my boyfriend. FML

#21428214
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (4476)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by allisonpaige21 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML

#21378741
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31582) - you deserved it (1992)

On 03/21/2015 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML

#21378013
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32323) - you deserved it (60)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by Fred - United States (Pennsylvania)



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