BurntPorkChops

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Offline (the 12/04/2016 at 4:14am)

BurntPorkChops

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2452
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BurntPorkChops's page activity

Visits<b>nevergetsfirst</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:49pm<b>jennieeugster</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 7:13am<b>ViRepz</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 7:11am<b>AntiPrude</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 9:56am

BurntPorkChops's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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BurntPorkChops's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother finally finalized her divorce! Unfortunately, she'll have to sell the house, and when she does, she'll move in with me. I only moved out a month ago. FML

by Who-is-living-with-whom / 11/03/2016 at 2:10am / Kids

Today, while changing my tampon in a public restroom, a toddler crawled under the door of my stall and asked what I was doing. I had to wait until I'd finished to open the door and let her out. FML

by 2young4birds&bees / 10/24/2016 at 11:53am / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished a 700-page book for my law exam. It was the wrong book. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2016 at 6:12am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Work

Today, I went to a McDonald's drive-thru in just a shirt and underwear, thinking I wouldn't be seeing anyone. I got into a car crash. FML

by pantless / 10/23/2016 at 5:31am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his muscles as my anniversary gift. FML

by Lucachoo / 10/21/2016 at 1:16am / Love

Today, I had to call a customer. I usually try to avoid calling customers because I have a very prominent speech impediment. Well, it turns out the customer I called also has a speech impediment and thought I was mocking her. She hung up on me and filed a formal complaint with my company. FML

by Jen / 10/20/2016 at 12:32pm / Work

Today I bought a 50$ voucher card to refill my phone. After I purchased it, I threw the receipt in the dustbin. When I got home, I found out that the 14-digit pin code was on the receipt. I basically threw 57 bucks in the dustbin. FML

by Iris / 10/12/2016 at 9:53am / Canada (Quebec) / Money

Today, I confessed my feelings to the only man I've ever loved. He asked me for dating advice. FML

by hopeless / 10/07/2016 at 4:28pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to kayak. On the way, I told him I had to go back to our hotel because I needed the bathroom and didn't want a public one to smell. Once back in the elevator at the hotel, it got stuck. For an hour. I pooped myself and had to wait 40 minutes after that for help. FML

by ItWasOurAnniversary / 09/28/2016 at 8:08am / Australia / Health

Today, I have a speech impediment that's recently become more noticeable. My entire family has decided that the best way to go about handling it is to mock me whenever I try to say something. FML

by christacat / 09/28/2016 at 6:24am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my girlfriend tried to hook me up with a guy. It's the second time it happened since I met her. FML

by DrawingWaves / 09/27/2016 at 6:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML

by blue15564 / 09/26/2016 at 5:52pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was called to be told I'm fired for not showing up for my shift. I guess she didn't check her voice message to see that I gave birth last night. FML

by jessiluvxx / 09/25/2016 at 5:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

by b.fritz / 09/24/2016 at 6:02am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was laying in my bed and discovered a couple stray black hairs scattered about. This was odd considering I have light strawberry blonde hair but I forgot about it only to later see my hair brush have more of the same black hairs. I live alone. I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2016 at 10:51pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous