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BryanaMalik

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BryanaMalik

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 152
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BryanaMalik : I

BryanaMalik's page activity

Visits<b>meganlovesyou69</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 2:35pm<b>237582</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 2:28pm<b>epicRawrz</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 10:57pm<b>andrew102030</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 10:42am<b>ysadrage</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 10:42pm

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BryanaMalik's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46719) - you deserved it (5272)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51581) - you deserved it (13931)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63928) - you deserved it (3056)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10260) - you deserved it (34712)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

#20082214
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22352) - you deserved it (4309)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65554) - you deserved it (3151)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (32414)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

#17727242
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27438) - you deserved it (2417)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

#8637899
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26947) - you deserved it (3187)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

#7334131
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30242) - you deserved it (3354)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by melonhead (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

#5563519
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9484) - you deserved it (47083)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML

#2833526
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64702) - you deserved it (4971)

On 06/12/2009 at 4:04pm - love - by adderallgirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62744) - you deserved it (12248)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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