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BryanThaMan's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
BryanThaMan's favorite FMLs
Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML
by Nikki / 07/27/2012 at 9:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Carrie G. / 07/26/2012 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
by Uncircumcised Penis / 07/24/2012 at 5:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by nick / 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
by mustachio101 / 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
by lovealways22 / 07/17/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Colorado) / Love
by oops123 / 07/16/2012 at 10:38am / United States / Kids
Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML
by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 6:47pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Intimacy
by ohbiebjetaime / 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm / France / Love
by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by ww2freak / 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Singapore / 06/05/2012 at 10:59pm / United States (New York) / Health
- Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of a bra he claimed I left at his house. I know every single… Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he… Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping…
- Today, I finally saved up enough money to possibly buy a small apartment. Today, I also received a… Today, I had sex for the first time lying on a deck chair outside of a house party. Just as I reach… Today, I can't seem to get a job after going for more than 20 interviews over the last two months.…
- Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I was driving in a straight line on a completely deserted road in the open bush. I sneezed…