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BryanThaMan's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
BryanThaMan's favorite FMLs
by monkey / 09/19/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML
by firestar772 / 02/11/2013 at 10:48am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML
by Brock / 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
by no sleep for me / 01/08/2013 at 2:44am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Ape / 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
by Devil / 12/11/2012 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Read The Fine Print / 11/24/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Transportation
by SebastianMiko / 11/09/2012 at 2:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
- Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini… Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and… Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to…