About Broadway_Vayne : League of Legends, Hearthstone, and Pokemon are life. I love eating great foods and talking to amazing people. Feel free to message me. I'm shy but I open up to certain people very well.
Broadway_Vayne's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Broadway_Vayne's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
by youmindyourownbusiness / 02/15/2013 at 12:53am / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Kids
by really?!? / 01/25/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
by VampObsessed / 01/05/2013 at 12:30am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm / Germany (Saarland) / Holidays
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
by lizzard0416 / 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
by LawStudent / 09/19/2012 at 10:54am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML
by SuzyTurquoiseBlu / 08/29/2012 at 1:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML
by idontbleedfromthere / 08/22/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
by wife of a shithead / 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML
by SprinklerDodger / 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Love