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BrightBrownEyes

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BrightBrownEyes
  • Town/Country : All American Girl
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 411
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BrightBrownEyes : Thanks for the stalkin'.

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BrightBrownEyes's favorite FMLs

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML

#19887326
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (3335)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by BunniesOnAcid - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

#19688308
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21866) - you deserved it (14200)

On 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by oh lord - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33307) - you deserved it (9693)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML

#19312067
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17301) - you deserved it (5728)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:49am - love - by notsober - United States

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

#18984075
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33529) - you deserved it (4193)

On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

#18836857
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19627) - you deserved it (3834)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Dooh (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

#18811640
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36106) - you deserved it (3218)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41877) - you deserved it (2786)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

#14330687
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33177) - you deserved it (3815)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML

#544318
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84513) - you deserved it (6261)

On 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm - intimacy - by tinytitty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (59162)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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