BreynHope

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BreynHope

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 July 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1099
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About BreynHope : I'm a college student with a wicked sense of humor.

BreynHope's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:34am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:32pm<b>wiscbaseball</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 9:42am<b>toastbrot</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 3:18am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:11pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:55am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 12:59pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm<b>yehyeh</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:18pm<b>ADBurns</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:57am<b>crimson_hawk5</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:29am<b>graced91</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 2:52pm<b>fmluser698754</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 3:28am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 7:13pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 9:52am<b>equitationbound</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 4:54am<b>drshn</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 2:42pm<b>Knightchaser27</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 9:30am

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:34pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:55am

BreynHope's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of BreynHope's badges

BreynHope's favorite FMLs

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

by thatfatkid / 08/10/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

by Biological / 02/11/2010 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML

by manksy / 01/01/2010 at 5:07pm / United Kingdom (North Yorkshire) / Work

Today, I failed an oral speech because "I didn't look up once." The problem was, every time I looked up, my teacher looked down. Every time I looked down, she looked up. FML

by oralMistake / 10/26/2009 at 2:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2009 at 10:26am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Intimacy

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

by Screwed / 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

by anon13 / 04/12/2009 at 12:27am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML

by thatwasmiz / 04/08/2009 at 2:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2009 at 6:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

by rebecca / 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

by collegegirl90 / 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML

by Ricky / 03/08/2009 at 8:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

by clash / 11/28/2008 at 1:30am / Intimacy