BrandonHammmmmy

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Offline (the 12/18/2014 at 12:44am)

BrandonHammmmmy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1045
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About BrandonHammmmmy : 20 male, Paramedic/Volunteer firefighter. Tattoos, rock, and guitars.

BrandonHammmmmy's page activity

Visits<b>watermelon1</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:23pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 4:34am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 6:42pm<b>jshakd642</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:55pm<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 4:24pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 3:15pm<b>StarDust5921</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 4:57pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:39am<b>MythBusters</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 10:05pm<b>Anthony52</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 9:52am<b>CertifiedShayne</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 10:36pm<b>seneax</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:14am<b>electricjjb</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 3:28pm<b>ChancellorW</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:17am<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 10:37pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 8:35pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 8:28pm<b>Mariella1996</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 4:22am

BrandonHammmmmy's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of BrandonHammmmmy's badges

BrandonHammmmmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

by fuckface? I wish / 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

by pathetic / 11/06/2013 at 8:04am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

by maddie / 11/06/2013 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

by Trapped. / 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

by Steiner / 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

by :/ / 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was conducting surveys over the phone at work. As I called a new respondent, someone answered the phone, burped loudly, and hung up. This isn't the first time. I hate this job. FML

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

by roughsexgonewrong / 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML

by GDubeau24 / 11/05/2013 at 12:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

by Something I said? / 11/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

by davincidasecond / 11/05/2013 at 12:59am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

by UnfortunatelyAmusing / 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

by UnfortunatelyAmusing / 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

by :/ / 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Love