About Brainnnnz : Uhh... no.
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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Brainnnnz's favorite FMLs
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
by ayye_its_nikki / 12/19/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by SadExperiment / 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Love
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML
by Faker / 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm / United States / Health
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
by bargainshopper / 10/16/2012 at 7:28am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 6:28am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by justabitembarrassed / 10/07/2012 at 10:20am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML
by Maria / 08/20/2012 at 9:25am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer… Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was…