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Brainnnnz

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Brainnnnz
  • Town/Country : Omaha, Nebraska
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 July 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 625
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Brainnnnz : Uhh... no.

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Brainnnnz's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

#20010086
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25793) - you deserved it (3182)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML

#19982373
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32049) - you deserved it (1713)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (32985)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8028) - you deserved it (53117)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41900) - you deserved it (3001)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

#19400848
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6792) - you deserved it (24011)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5196) - you deserved it (23359)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

#18977119
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27732) - you deserved it (5597)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36678) - you deserved it (5486)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46337) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

#18052574
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47670) - you deserved it (3741)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

#18035123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35478) - you deserved it (9468)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)

Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29149) - you deserved it (5021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

#17908235
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7016) - you deserved it (55760)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved



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