Brainnnnz

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Offline (the 08/07/2015 at 4:12am)

Brainnnnz

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 July 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4978
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Brainnnnz : Uhh... no.

Brainnnnz's page activity

Visits<b>zarrie_carrie281</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 12:09am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 6:31am<b>middleagednurse</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 9:09pm<b>cutiesoprano22</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 3:30pm<b>yolo_swagxD</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:18pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 6:34am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:21am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 9:52am<b>hannahgreely</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 2:20am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 9:41am<b>angelk19</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:25am<b>fbcclaire</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:37am<b>fandoms_unite</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:18am<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:56pm<b>weirdly_cute</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:24pm<b>Prerogative</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 1:15am<b>PoisonOrchid</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 6:49pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:59pm

Fucked!<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 4:11pm

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Brainnnnz's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

by too young for this / 04/12/2013 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 9:32am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

by fucked by sex ed / 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

by uhoh / 02/16/2013 at 12:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2013 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

by jay ze punk / 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

by megean c.l. / 01/20/2013 at 4:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

by maybe dead in a day / 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 12:02am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

by heya / 12/24/2012 at 5:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous