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BostonBear

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BostonBear
  • Town/Country : Usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1064
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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BostonBear's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

#13588009
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11803) - you deserved it (33763)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

#13045293
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24338) - you deserved it (9206)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6680) - you deserved it (28489)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

#12726164
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12734) - you deserved it (22990)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by AlexaSt2611 (woman) - Paraguay (Central)

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year old I had to deal with. FML

#12114157
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (10910)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:03am - love - by beeee - Australia

Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had cramp in both my legs at the same time. FML

#11236853
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28548) - you deserved it (6842)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:32am - intimacy - by kitkat1603 (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

#11011756
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41538) - you deserved it (6327)

On 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm - kids - by Annakins (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

#7598826
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9495) - you deserved it (20084)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn my lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me. FML

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (30655)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18529) - you deserved it (3038)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35826) - you deserved it (16876)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

#6802710
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26000) - you deserved it (3901)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by yoked (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

#6378966
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11406) - you deserved it (34263)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9767) - you deserved it (39488)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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