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Bordo1203

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Bordo1203
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 52
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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Bordo1203's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51602) - you deserved it (5416)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 17-year-old son hacked off the legs of his bed with a saw. His explanation? "The bed looks cooler closer to the floor." FML

#20870098
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35765) - you deserved it (4267) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/06/2013 at 7:56am - kids - by Anonyme - France (Basse-Normandie)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (2379)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

#20073029
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4795) - you deserved it (25348)

On 09/15/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML

#20051755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17607) - you deserved it (2398)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by KidKillah - United States (California)

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17708) - you deserved it (2274)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

#19962934
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16106) - you deserved it (23726)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31075) - you deserved it (2702)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML

#19950603
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15514) - you deserved it (2295)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:47pm - kids - by ssydneyy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got home from the hospital after I burned my hand. Why? I dropped my phone in the pot while stirring hot soup, and I reached in to get it. FML

#19940108
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5966) - you deserved it (32295)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:45am - health - by scooter922 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3630) - you deserved it (35096)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

#19936728
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15692) - you deserved it (4002)

On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

#19936728
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15692) - you deserved it (4002)

On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML

#19935872
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12823) - you deserved it (25972)

On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)



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