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Bombegranite's FML badges
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Bombegranite's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML
by madamefuxalittle / 07/08/2014 at 4:52pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by TheLastSerenade / 01/23/2013 at 3:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy
by lunarstrain / 11/08/2011 at 1:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML
by BigmouthStrikesAgain / 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates. I've touched more dog penises than I have human ones, and sometimes the dogs get "excited" while I'm working. FML
by penisgrabber / 12/15/2010 at 12:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML
by kingmetal42 / 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm / Miscellaneous
by KN / 06/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML
by toomuchmetal / 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…