About BlueRainDude : I like girls, cookies, sunny days and my friends. Have a good day.
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BlueRainDude's favorite FMLs
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
by spooked / 11/22/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Indiana) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
by thatsnotacat / 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids
by Something I said? / 11/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML
by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/28/2013 at 2:31am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Miscellaneous
by . / 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
by Undercooked / 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by poor teacher / 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by msmidnight1965 / 09/22/2013 at 1:22pm / Canada / Kids
Today, while sorting through my clothes, I found one of my ex's old sweaters. After a lot of thought and difficulty, I threw it out. I felt empowered, until my father later rifled through my trash and claimed the sweater for himself. FML
by gemtas5 / 09/21/2013 at 1:28pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Love
by baxeh / 09/12/2013 at 7:47am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous
by jesus christ, dad / 09/06/2013 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy
- Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he… Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding… Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little…