About BlueRainDude : I like girls, cookies, sunny days and my friends. Have a good day.
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BlueRainDude's favorite FMLs
Today, I found a credit card at my job. As store policy goes, we have to cut up lost cards immediately after finding them to protect the cardholders. As I grab the scissors and cut, my manager calls out, "Has anyone seen my credit card?" FML
by mariology / 12/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Delaware) / Work
Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML
by a.white / 12/11/2013 at 6:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by scared shitless / 12/10/2013 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Work
by knee pain / 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm / United States / Health
Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML
by fs / 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML
by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous
by quit fucking up my life / 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Alaska) / Love
Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 7:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by awkwardpaul / 11/22/2013 at 5:18am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love
by InsertPopcicle / 11/22/2013 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…