BlitheNightmare

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BlitheNightmare

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1160
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BlitheNightmare : Nothing interesting, just finally made a profile after reading FMLs for a couple years...

BlitheNightmare's page activity

Visits<b>crushcrusher</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 5:52am<b>rainbowsorbet</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:22pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 8:34pm<b>asdfghjkll2</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:29pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 8:20pm<b>MissVeracity</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 2:53pm<b>Lauaries8</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 12:43am<b>chrisjw27</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 8:25pm<b>i_luv_dogs</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 8:51pm<b>cuppycakeslove</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 4:32am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 5:27pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:22pm<b>Jea2096</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 10:49pm<b>sorta_sarcastic</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 9:19pm<b>Dreamer4094</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 1:32am<b>cman1322</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 9:25pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 10:12pm<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 3:59am

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BlitheNightmare's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

by whyme / 05/31/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was chatting online with a guy I really like, when he used the word "irregardless." I couldn't help but mention how little sense it makes, since it's a combination of two words meaning roughly the same thing. He replied, "lol what? your stupid." Jesus Christ. FML

by pot, meet kettle / 04/05/2013 at 7:21pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

by SierraDiaz2097 / 03/23/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

by guyssuck / 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm / Germany / Love

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

by 3some? uh, no / 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm / Dominican Republic / Love

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

by go snope yourself / 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

by megean c.l. / 01/20/2013 at 4:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

by EmberLove / 01/17/2013 at 9:06am / United States / Love

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

by box bulge / 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm / China / Health

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

by keepmouthshut / 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous