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BlackPhoenixNite

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BlackPhoenixNite

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 March 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 939
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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BlackPhoenixNite's page activity

Visits<b>tallguy044</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:04pm<b>kjd2593</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:31pm

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BlackPhoenixNite's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19733) - you deserved it (7855)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19188) - you deserved it (26938)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

#21359908
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29203) - you deserved it (2314)

On 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

#21351411
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27278) - you deserved it (6167)

On 02/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

#21350938
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27954) - you deserved it (2534)

On 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by valarmorgoolies (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19760) - you deserved it (35983)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30993) - you deserved it (7087)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

#21347895
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31231) - you deserved it (2289)

On 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm - health - by grossedout - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29182) - you deserved it (12897)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer blatantly farted as I sat down, then she sneered, "Making yourself comfortable, I see..." FML

#21344008
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29067) - you deserved it (2192)

On 01/25/2015 at 1:21pm - work - by fartje - Netherlands

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

#21342765
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (2303)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:27am - work - by Mishlette (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

#21341250
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (6082)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend when I began dozing off. I was then awoken by an explosive fart. It was me. FML

#21340117
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29447) - you deserved it (5031)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (15088)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

#21335609
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24667) - you deserved it (6731)

On 01/12/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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