BlackPhoenixNite

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BlackPhoenixNite

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1992
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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BlackPhoenixNite's page activity

Visits<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 4:11am<b>TheHeirofTime</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:34pm<b>Merm16</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:11pm<b>tallguy044</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:04pm<b>kjd2593</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:31pm

Fucked!<b>TheHeirofTime</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 1:56pm

BlackPhoenixNite's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of BlackPhoenixNite's badges

BlackPhoenixNite's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a second date with a guy who seemed perfect in every way possible. That is until he started mentioned how children are a deal-breaker for him. I had to break it to him that I have a 14 month old daughter. He actually had the balls to ask if I'd ever consider foster care. Seriously, dude? FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2016 at 1:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I'm so lonely, I wrote my number on a desk at my university, hoping someone would text me. FML

by insurgent / 05/03/2016 at 4:31am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Love

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

by Dramaqueenfornothing / 04/27/2016 at 6:32pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to clean our apartment, and then we went out to grab a bite to eat. When we returned, I found a baby's sock in the middle of the floor. Neither of us have a baby, and nobody we know does either. Now I'm just waiting for the doll-themed nightmares tonight. FML

by Squeepy / 04/09/2016 at 11:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, nearing the end of my pregnancy, I went to a local pool. While attempting to swim on my stomach, I turned a little to the left, and buoyancy took over and I ended up belly-up and flailing, causing a very large man to then laugh so hard, he choked. FML

by ciammmm / 04/07/2016 at 8:23pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

by sick of this shit / 03/12/2016 at 8:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

by bleue / 04/23/2015 at 8:27am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

by Not dying. / 04/21/2015 at 3:55am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2015 at 10:04am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Work

Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML

by Boss Troubles / 03/17/2015 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

by thecarisfine / 03/14/2015 at 12:27am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

by no salt, no burning, just STFU / 03/08/2015 at 10:41am / United States / Animals