BjgUsername

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BjgUsername

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 968
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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BjgUsername's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 6:44am<b>CougeeSwagg</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 5:32pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 5:47pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:17pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:32am<b>billionair11</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:53pm<b>Thales_</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:56pm<b>prkoenig</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 2:54pm<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 4:13am<b>Janiney</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 4:06pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 9:58pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 5:13pm<b>erf</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 4:43pm<b>notok667</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 3:58pm<b>elfsmh</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 6:05pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 3:05am<b>SkyGuy32</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 10:55pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 7:08pm

BjgUsername's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of BjgUsername's badges

BjgUsername's favorite FMLs

Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know..." and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML

by shellski / 01/20/2012 at 8:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

by ...... / 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy