BitsOBacon

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BitsOBacon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7631
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About BitsOBacon : Call me unlucky if you want, but we all know it's almost always my fault.

BitsOBacon's page activity

Visits<b>Alex_5628</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 5:08pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Kaka_Karrot_Kake</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 7:09pm<b>DividableByZero</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 6:31pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 3:59pm<b>iLike2Teabag</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 12:46am<b>awkwardology</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 9:01am<b>neeni88</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 5:57pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:53pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 8:55am<b>2pepper3</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 8:26am<b>kazrron</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 2:40pm<b>scottishchris</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 2:05am<b>kimmpwns</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 9:11pm<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 6:14pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 1:59pm<b>laaryssa</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 12:47pm<b>Redoxx</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 3:00pm

BitsOBacon's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of BitsOBacon's badges

BitsOBacon's favorite FMLs

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

by Greg / 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

by The greatest Illusion ever / 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Asshole hornet / 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

by MBean / 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm / Anguilla / Animals

Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML

by monsterdanceman / 10/23/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

by oldshitnewshit / 10/22/2013 at 5:11pm / United States / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

by jdawn99 / 10/22/2013 at 10:24am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

by ouch.... / 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

by OutOfMyMind / 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML

by / 10/21/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

by other woman / 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (California) / Love