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Bikeintruder

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Bikeintruder
  • Town/Country : New York, US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2250
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About Bikeintruder : Are turtles afraid of heights?

Bikeintruder's last visitors

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Bikeintruder's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41240) - you deserved it (3809)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

#20967954
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34326) - you deserved it (2874)

On 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm - work - by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38331) - you deserved it (2363)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37059) - you deserved it (6642)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41438) - you deserved it (3054)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46297) - you deserved it (5535)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

#20943458
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48693) - you deserved it (5060)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:57am - love - by Whatswrongwithme? (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43602) - you deserved it (5179)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45714) - you deserved it (16289)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

#20835654
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41171) - you deserved it (3663)

On 08/13/2013 at 4:19pm - love - by Zanovitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44077) - you deserved it (5933)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

#20823799
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44755) - you deserved it (5856)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by stillembarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49851) - you deserved it (3523)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML



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