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BenXiaoHai

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BenXiaoHai
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 333
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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BenXiaoHai's favorite FMLs

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55658) - you deserved it (13026)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17904) - you deserved it (2928)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

#8607847
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27505) - you deserved it (1510)

On 02/24/2010 at 1:29am - work - by argh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22849) - you deserved it (6463)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14665) - you deserved it (4005)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14665) - you deserved it (4005)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I weighed myself. When I was fifteen, my mom yelled at me, saying that I was going to end up being 200 pounds by the time I was forty. Well, mom, you're wrong. At this rate I'll be 200 pounds by the time I'm twenty. FML

#7521892
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9355) - you deserved it (31397)

On 01/23/2010 at 2:47pm - health - by notaguidette (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47052) - you deserved it (3731)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

#7268268
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18017) - you deserved it (3010)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

#7228491
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10842) - you deserved it (21261)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:36am - health - by Ashy104 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML

#7203550
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28486) - you deserved it (1505)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Darkness162000 - France

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30224) - you deserved it (4766)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

#6281731
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28803) - you deserved it (8095)

On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was afraid he would no longer love me when he returned from basic training. Hoping he would reassure me his feelings wouldn't change and we'd still be together, he replied instead, "Shit happens." FML

#6148813
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (6978)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:00am - love - by reality_stricken (woman) - Guam

Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML

#6115466
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28875) - you deserved it (1718)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:03am - work - by fmyjob (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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