BenTaz

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BenTaz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2437
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BenTaz : Bollocks

BenTaz's page activity

Visits<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 5:44pm<b>constipation</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:30am<b>melons</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 8:48pm<b>emsnice240</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 12:39pm<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 11:18am<b>haj</b> - the 06/03/2012 at 6:59am

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BenTaz's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

by crazycatlady / 11/19/2012 at 11:15am / United States / Animals

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

by they've been broken up for a year. / 11/19/2012 at 2:13am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

by john r.t. / 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm / United States / Kids

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

by unfortunateMother / 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Kids

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, wanting to be on time for my first job interview, I woke up at the crack of dawn and walked almost an hour through a thunderstorm. When I arrived, I was told that the manager wasn't in today, because of the bad weather. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

by calivianya / 08/28/2012 at 12:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

by pridekills / 08/19/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

by Sarah / 08/17/2012 at 3:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy