About BeautifulFungus : I am a mushroom...
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BeautifulFungus's favorite FMLs
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy
by lisacasabonita / 11/12/2010 at 11:31am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 12:32am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
by doesnttastegood / 02/01/2010 at 5:23am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love
- Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to… Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets… Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid…
- Today, I decided it would be sexy and spice up my marriage to give myself a Brazilian wax. Although… Today, my boss spent so long screaming at me about my incompetence and bad attitude that we missed… Today, my bestfriend was so drunk i had to go pick her up at the mc donalds stop light. When i saw…