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Beatlemaniac1964's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
by bigjohn106 / 07/17/2011 at 8:34am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Hank Gummyworm / 06/16/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by robertsonjimmy / 06/13/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Mississippi) / Animals
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Loveless / 06/05/2011 at 8:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by quickfingers100 / 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
by kaleigh / 05/31/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Charlie / 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by woahitbechels / 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by telling me he got another girl pregnant and… Today,me and my little brother were walking back from school. He tripped and started crying. As I… Today, a bug flew into my eye. Two hours later I picked "sleep" out of my eye. It was all black and…