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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 June 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 17997
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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BeanCuisine's page activity

Visits<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 4:28pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:09pm<b>byEyecandy</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:17pm<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:04pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:38pm<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:33pm<b>colehardfact</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:04pm<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:32pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 1:49pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 7:28am<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:17pm<b>adrianh1090</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 2:33am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:52pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 11:37am<b>pufffreak</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 12:02pm<b>joawmeens</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 6:20am<b>VampOfSavannah</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 12:42am

BeanCuisine's FML badges


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BeanCuisine's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

by aireeahna / 02/12/2014 at 2:43pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

by airhead2015 / 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML

by sashimi9999 / 02/06/2014 at 8:32pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

by Nikia818 / 02/06/2014 at 1:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

by Evolution mama / 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

Today, like every day, I had to walk to my bus stop. The only difference today is there was snow and ice over everything. Not only did I slip and fall, soaking both myself and the contents of my bag, the bus driver saw me there at the bus stop and drove straight past. FML

by no snow day / 02/05/2014 at 9:07am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

by anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm / United States / Health

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

by BigLove / 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

by khfhjfsb / 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2014 at 1:37pm / United States (New York) / Love