BeachGirl27

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BeachGirl27

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Wollongong, Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 November 1969 (46 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1710
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About BeachGirl27 : I'd say I'm at the extreme end of "normal" and am complicated enough that noone understands me, even myself! According to my daughters their friends see me as cool even though I'm a self-confessed nerd. I am pretty non-judgmental and open-minded except about bad parenting and have a bizarre sense of humour. Yup, that about sums me up.

BeachGirl27's page activity

Visits<b>6pointOhhh</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 6:06pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 3:28am<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 12:13am<b>Evil20071</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 10:53pm<b>yungblkrich</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 9:06pm<b>mathsfreak</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:20pm<b>Kakaabeg</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 2:24pm<b>tipuda</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 10:50am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:07am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 6:00am<b>emmadedilemma</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 8:46am<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 2:09pm<b>stereomommy</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 8:06am<b>Rais</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 3:07am<b>Tenker</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 12:11am<b>joco4</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 4:34am<b>silentj46290</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 7:24am<b>ghetto_child</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 8:24pm

Fucked!<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 6:14am<b>drirr</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 6:51am<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 4:07am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 12:43pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:33am

BeachGirl27's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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BeachGirl27's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML

by fuckmuppet / 05/27/2014 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

by Laura / 05/27/2014 at 11:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 7:37am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Kids

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw the script for the end of year assembly skit I'm forced to participate in. Looks like on my last day of high school, I'll be running around in a rainbow unicorn costume in front of my entire high school and their parents. FML

by Banana_Lord / 05/25/2014 at 9:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML

by NaCl / 05/24/2014 at 5:20pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

by groundedasfuck / 05/24/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my driving test. I had pulled out of my three point turn in a neighborhood and started driving again, thinking something wasn't quite right. The lady testing me looked over at me and said, "Sweetie, you're driving on the wrong side of the road." FML

by Lindsey / 05/24/2014 at 11:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

by lifesabitch2016 / 05/24/2014 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

by idontevencareanymore / 05/23/2014 at 5:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

by todaddy / 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy