Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 06/25/2015 at 10:48pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 November 1969 (46 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1275
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About BeachGirl27 : I'd say I'm at the extreme end of "normal" and am complicated enough that noone understands me, even myself! According to my daughters their friends see me as cool even though I'm a self-confessed nerd. I am pretty non-judgmental and open-minded except about bad parenting and have a bizarre sense of humour. Yup, that about sums me up.

BeachGirl27's page activity

Visits<b>goodvsevil1275</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:13am<b>43bubba34</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:33am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 6:33pm<b>meli1195</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 4:54am<b>Sansa</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:11pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:29pm<b>sb4331</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:04pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:30am<b>ForeignKestrel</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 6:51am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:36pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 12:22am<b>D26</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 12:16am<b>omgpp</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:47pm<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:28pm<b>wratty11</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:30pm<b>sebascat4ever</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:12pm<b>LissaMccracken</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:10pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 6:26am

Fucked!<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:33am

BeachGirl27's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of BeachGirl27's badges

BeachGirl27's favorite FMLs

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (4748)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML


I agree, your life sucks (34500) - you deserved it (3318)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34519) - you deserved it (3408)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I went to spend my last $50 on gas, since I get paid in 5 days. I paid for the gas and stepped into the restroom briefly. I came out, only to discover that the attendant had put the gas on the wrong pump, and someone had used it for themselves. My tank is empty. FML

Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45123) - you deserved it (5079)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Mem (woman) - Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan)

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43478) - you deserved it (6937)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49553) - you deserved it (29570)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50020) - you deserved it (5946)

On 05/28/2014 at 10:21am - love - by needanotherbed - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML


I agree, your life sucks (65460) - you deserved it (5752)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (50748) - you deserved it (5314)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: