BastardOfBodom

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BastardOfBodom

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 July 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2847
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BastardOfBodom : I like metal, gaming, and cigars!
Im also a huge Deviantart addict..

If you would like to respond to anything I've said or just say "oh hai" feel free to email me..

mysliwiecmj@gmail.com

BastardOfBodom's page activity

Visits<b>holymacabre</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 7:36pm<b>pineapples8</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 7:41am<b>rubesb123</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 5:27pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 11:59pm<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:06pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 1:07am<b>wowmls</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 12:54am<b>Callyente</b> - the 01/12/2011 at 6:04pm

BastardOfBodom's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

BastardOfBodom's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML

Today, I had to go visit my grandma. While in her bathroom, the floss I was using cut my gum, I then proceded to make sounds of slight pain. My grandma was, at the same moment, walking by and said "Don't masturbate in side of my bathroom you sick teen!" Now my grandma thinks I am a pervert. FML

by bongoboy / 04/25/2009 at 3:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 11:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

by christinabear / 04/15/2009 at 1:14am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, on the train, I got excited when I suddenly noticed I had a missed call and voicemail from a boy I liked. With a grin on my face, I told my friend. My dad overheard and said, "oh sweetie, he probably had the wrong number." The voicemail was blank. I texted him. The call was an accident. FML

by lyssanthamum / 04/08/2009 at 10:35pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

by blovesg / 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

by rejected / 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML

by Shell / 03/05/2009 at 2:14am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML

by Whothrewhim / 02/21/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous