Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Baikal

Offline (the 03/31/2015 at 4:22am) | Search for a member

Baikal

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 756
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Baikal's page activity

Visits<b>xbritney</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 6:21pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 12:19am<b>66JustinCredible</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 10:04am

Baikal's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Baikal's badges

Baikal's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

#21329484
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (2093)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26677) - you deserved it (15632)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36751) - you deserved it (5898)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38308) - you deserved it (3160)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36468) - you deserved it (2427)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

#21224768
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44997) - you deserved it (5371)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52730) - you deserved it (4920)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

#21136526
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42854) - you deserved it (4604)

On 05/11/2014 at 10:46am - work - by Makeitdance - United States (California)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51395) - you deserved it (9634)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46291) - you deserved it (4975)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45204) - you deserved it (23523)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25982) - you deserved it (53537)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60845) - you deserved it (19052)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: